loife

is it possible for me to love myself?
to not care what people think of me?
I sometimes wonder why I can't look the
way i want to. I can't help but hate me think i'm disgusting even. I wonder how could someone love someone like mei'm not pretty, i'm not skinny, or sexy or any of that. I don't like wearing shorts, dresses or skirts.I try and dress pretty and i like it for a few min. and then i change. When i change it's into a t-shirt and jeans. I can't pull off those outfints or nice hair. I can'tdo any of thatb/c i don't have any of that. My chest is the only thing that i have running for me but that's not even as great as i make it out to be. I can't explain it, but i used to only like my hair but i can't even like that any more. The only part of me i liked is dying b/c i change it too much. I look around and even when i go shopping, I see these girls and i wish i could be that thin or their grat hair. When i go sho[ppping i have to shop in plus size stores and i'm too scared to get the damn clothes b/c it makes me look bigger than i am. It took me years to feel comfortable enough to be able to take my shirt or pants fully off when i was messing around with a guy..

that is it for now... bbs